Self Expression

Just a disclaimer for my family and friends – I am good, no worries 🙂

My apologies if you get this twice – I had an unexpected publication problem. Thank you for your grace.

Sometimes I get tired of being me.  Do you ever get tired of being you?  Do you wonder sometimes if your life would be easier if you could be someone else?  It certainly feels like it could be.  Along that note, what if you were still you, but said all those things that you want to say? You know that boss that is not always nice?  Well under this new premise you could tell them what you thought of them.  Got a spouse that drives you crazy?  Tell them!  Neighbors bugging you?  Let them have it.  Just think of it…. if you have a thought, mean or nice, you get to share it.  No more holding back!  No more ulcers, no more stress, no more stomach problems.  Just tell them what you think!  Now you get to be you and enjoy it.  You no longer have to worry yourself with hurt feelings, discouragement, depression, anxiety–whatever, you get to just call it like it is.  So, what do you think?  A new way to be you and, not be you? 

WAIT! STOP! Why shouldn’t we “Tell it like it is” without regard to feelings? Hmmm, well, why aren’t we like that? There are potential downsides to all things, perhaps we should consider them?

Learning to Express Yourself?

If I decide to be a “call it like I see it” type of person you might decide to be a “leave while the leaving is good” type of person.  I am all about surrounding myself with supportive and encouraging people.   So, if I become more of a “well this was my thought so I shared it, encouraging or not” type of person you might decide to become a “I can cut you loose” type of person.  So, calling it like it is and speaking my mind may help me for a brief moment, but not in the long run.  Let’s face it, people don’t often surround themselves with others who are so frank that feelings get hurt.  I chose to be around the people that I do because they make me feel good, so I should probably offer the same back to them.  That’s not always an easy mindset, sometimes it is exhausting, but it is always necessary because these people are important to me.

Seeking Relief

So here I sit, knowing that I don’t want to be the “say everything I want to say” person, but I want to express myself and get these feelings out, so what I can I do?  So very glad you asked, because feeling better is important, and it would probably be good if you could feel better without making everyone in your social circle angry with you.  So, what can you do with your feelings? Well, writing is good for me.  Sounds crazy but when I get frustrated, I write, I don’t usually share those words–frankly, I find it to be very cathartic to tear up letters I wrote to others.  I don’t especially want to hurt your feelings, but I need to get mine out too.  I also find it helps to talk to a neutral party.  Exercise is always good in more ways than one. I am not a fit person (I wish I was, but that is another day’s blog), but I am smart enough to know that some good aerobic exercise is also good for the mind.  I also like to find activities to help my mind move on to something else, that is not easy for me, but when I am smart enough to remember to do it, it helps.  And finally, when I feel better and more in control of my feelings, I will probably try to talk to you so we can work things out and move on in our relationship.  It may take me a minute, but I do try to talk things out with people.  You will find though, that I also know not all things need to be talked out, sometimes circumstances just happened and we ended up at odds without intending to.  I also know how to just move on.  I really do like being me.  Sure, there are things about others’ lives I would like to have, but I just try to go and get what I want out of life for the most part.  I don’t know that any of us are ever truly satisfied with our lives and I think  that helps us grow.  But as far as being a version of me that says whatever she wants to, yeah, I think I will pass on that.  I think I would rather be a version of me who knows when to walk away and find another outlet for my overwhelming feelings.  I hope this reaches you where you are and helps you think of other ideas I have not even considered.  Thank you for spending time with me, be blessed my friends.

Published by Dr. Cindy Freer Conley

Hello Friends! I am Dr. Cindy Freer Conley, and I am so glad you are here! It is so nice to "meet" you. I am entering the world of blogging for the first time, I hope you find these readings worthwhile, helpful and entertaining. I have spent my career in one role or another of the mental health and counseling world. I have worked in private practice and in schools settings. I hold a PhD in Exceptional Education with a concentration in Applied Behavior Analysis. I currently work in public education full time and adjunct part-time. I am a wife and the mother of three adult children and the grandmother of one young lady who is growing up way too fast. I didn't have all of the answers as a mother, although my kids would probably tell you I faked it often (I did). I don't have all of the answers now, but I do know so much more now than I did 27 years ago when I became a parent. I was a single mother for several years, and learned a lot about the unique struggles single parents face. I have spent time with great supports and time where I felt alone on my path - only to look up and realize I was never alone. We are all on a journey, enjoy the journey, but understand small changes on your part may make lasting impacts to someone else's journey.

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