Who is Driving Your Car?

My family recently completed some car shopping. Now, you probably need to know that I am not a fan of car shopping, and if ever there was a time not to car shop… well that would be now. Selections are almost non-existent as most car dealers have almost empty lots. But for some odd reason we chose this season to car shop. When we go to look at cars there is always the drive through the lot to decide if we even want to stop. Then if we find something we are interested in, we stop, get out, and look around… and wait, because someone is coming. Now we are moving into the part I don’t care for – the whole sales piece. However, this time, because selections were slim the experience just seemed different. We shopped several lots. We looked at Mazda, Subaru, Nissan, Honda, and I can’t even recall the others. We looked at a multitude of cars. There were some common themes though. For me, I only wanted a car with a sunroof. Ok, so now you know one of my vices, I love the open sunroof. I get the sun and fresh air without the volume of wind. For him, he likes a good deal. We looked at so many cars, almost bought a few, and then finally found one to take home. The process was not nearly as bad as I anticipated it being. It probably helped a ton that my husband did a lot of the shopping online and I was only present for the cars we knew we were interested in. This is the one that got to come home with us, it is my first Subaru, but it will not be my last. I’m having much more fun than I anticipated. You see, I hated to leave my Murano at the dealer, it was a great ride. I wonder now where it is. Until I drove the Subaru, the Murano was my favorite car ever. I sincerely enjoyed owning that vehicle. I really do wonder where it is? I wonder what happened to it next? We took good care of it, I wonder if someone was able to find a great car at a decent price. I wonder who is driving my car?

I think I shall drive, thank you…

I know you could say that I am driving my car and I am. But I really did think about this the other day and wonder who is driving my car. I talk to the kids I work with about that concept only in a different light. I frequently ask them, “Who is driving your car?” So who is? You? Your friends? Your anger? Your addictions? You see, we are all going somewhere. Each day we move forward or backwards. We do not simply stay in a motionless state. So if you use my example of a car that signifies the movement, who is driving? Obviously the best answer is “I am!” Not my anger, for where would it take me? What kind of destruction could I end up with if my anger were the driving force in my life. And certainly not my friends, for they need to drive their own cars. If they do great things, good for them. If they do things that didn’t turn out so great, well then I am glad I am still driving my own car. I also don’t want my addictions to have such a strong driving force that I live my life around them. I want to be in control, I want to have self control, and I want to drive my own car. I want to decide when to slow down, speed up, turn and stop. I want to be able to make great choices for myself and my life. I want to drive my own car.

Along for the ride?

I also want to bring along people who are good for me, and I want to be good for them. l shall also be selective of who I let ride with me in my car. You see, where I am going with my life is important and I want people on the journey who will help me arrive at my goals. I hope you are able to find the same thing in your life. It is ok, no it is important, to set healthy limits and it is ok to say, “Yeah, you can’t ride with me right now.” People can be an important part of our lives, but they don’t have to drive, and they don’t even have to ride in the front seat. I reserve those spots for healthy people who are helping me to go healthy places. Be well my friends, thank you for spending part of your day with me.

Published by Dr. Cindy Freer Conley

Hello Friends! I am Dr. Cindy Freer Conley, and I am so glad you are here! It is so nice to "meet" you. I am entering the world of blogging for the first time, I hope you find these readings worthwhile, helpful and entertaining. I have spent my career in one role or another of the mental health and counseling world. I have worked in private practice and in schools settings. I hold a PhD in Exceptional Education with a concentration in Applied Behavior Analysis. I currently work in public education full time and adjunct part-time. I am a wife and the mother of three adult children and the grandmother of one young lady who is growing up way too fast. I didn't have all of the answers as a mother, although my kids would probably tell you I faked it often (I did). I don't have all of the answers now, but I do know so much more now than I did 27 years ago when I became a parent. I was a single mother for several years, and learned a lot about the unique struggles single parents face. I have spent time with great supports and time where I felt alone on my path - only to look up and realize I was never alone. We are all on a journey, enjoy the journey, but understand small changes on your part may make lasting impacts to someone else's journey.

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