Lonely, but not Alone

I see you sitting there. Reading this, alone, at the end of a day. I see you, and I understand you, because some times I am you. Sometimes, I think we all are. We live busy lives in a busy world, and yet sometimes we feel completely alone while surrounded by people. I am sorry if you feel alone, please know that you are not. There are people that care about you, some that do not know that you feel alone, and some that just do not realize how alone you feel. Sometimes, I have to pick up the phone and call that one trusted friend, you know the one… the one that always “gets you”. They understand and help to carry your burden. If you don’t have that friend, find someone that can become that friend, for we all need one in life. Mine was a fluke, never in a million years did I anticipate that she would become a lifelong friend. But sometimes, life takes you on turns you didn’t anticipate. This friendship has been one of those turns for me, it’s the phone call I can always make.

I like to read, I wish I had more time in life to read. But I have this tiny little flaw… you see I have always been a ‘let me read the end of the book first type of a person.’ You know the one, the person who buys a book and reads the last chapter first. After I read the ending I decide if I want to read the rest or not. I have probably missed out on some great books as a result of my bad habit. Sometimes, we have to read the pages one by one, just go through the pages of life one day at a time. Sometimes, the pages are fun filled… I love those pages of life, the days of laughter, celebrations and joy. But some of the other pages are more difficult to go through. They are for me too. Somedays, I just want to know that I will survive the trial of the day. That feeling is overwhelming and I feel alone. I told you, I see you sitting there and I know you, because sometimes, I am you.

I care about the end of the book, but I care more about today. I chose to use the todays and the tomorrows to write the book. We can do that you know, we can focus on the good in each day. If you don’t feel like you have any good in your day, call that friend, borrow some from them. No friend? Call anyone you know, call your pastor, call your neighbor, call a counselor… call someone. I wish that I could use the todays and tomorrows to write out the grief, I cannot and neither can you, but we can survive it. The loss of friends and loved ones? The factory that closed down, the foreclosure on the house, the child that died, the husband that left? I cannot write those out of my life and neither can you. But we can write the story of triumph. We can chose daily how to respond to the days events, even the tragic ones. We can surround ourselves with supportive people and even access additional supports through counseling, friends and church if we have a need. I am no stranger to earth shattering tragedy that I did not think I would recover from. I am eternally grateful to those that lifted me up and carried during that time. I do not know what the end of my book will say but the page today looks good. Tomorrow’s page looks pretty good too. As we walk through this life let us commit to ourselves to do our best every single day. And call your friends, cultivate those friendships, for there will be days you will need them. Call your friends, for there will be days they will need you too. Take care friends, and call your friends.

Published by Dr. Cindy Freer Conley

Hello Friends! I am Dr. Cindy Freer Conley, and I am so glad you are here! It is so nice to "meet" you. I am entering the world of blogging for the first time, I hope you find these readings worthwhile, helpful and entertaining. I have spent my career in one role or another of the mental health and counseling world. I have worked in private practice and in schools settings. I hold a PhD in Exceptional Education with a concentration in Applied Behavior Analysis. I currently work in public education full time and adjunct part-time. I am a wife and the mother of three adult children and the grandmother of one young lady who is growing up way too fast. I didn't have all of the answers as a mother, although my kids would probably tell you I faked it often (I did). I don't have all of the answers now, but I do know so much more now than I did 27 years ago when I became a parent. I was a single mother for several years, and learned a lot about the unique struggles single parents face. I have spent time with great supports and time where I felt alone on my path - only to look up and realize I was never alone. We are all on a journey, enjoy the journey, but understand small changes on your part may make lasting impacts to someone else's journey.

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